The Foreign Service Journal, July-August 2009

J U LY- A U G U S T 2 0 0 9 / F O R E I G N S E R V I C E J O U R N A L 23 F O C U S O N F S F I C T I O N I GLOO OF H AIRLESS W INOS here is a saying, unique to my country, which roughly translates into English as “he who is laughing after the others have finished their own laugh- ing is, in fact, the one who is having the most enjoyable laughter.” I must confess, however, that I was not confi- dent that anyone would enjoy any laughter at all when the U.S. chargé d’affaires, Mr. Linus Handy, imperiled rela- tions between our countries with his grievous insults of our foreign minister, his allegedly woman-like breasts and also his very motherland. Our is not a wealthy, powerful or large country, but the spirit of national pride runs hot as burning ox dung in all our blood. No other country produces as we do the na- tional dish of boiled thrush in sour snake bile for which we are justifiably famous. The world’s largest palacite mete- orite fell to earth in our western desert and, moreover, the longest tapeworm ever discovered was passed here. So you could say we do not lack for the superlative. There are certain of my relatives and friends who ask how it is that I can work so loyally for the embassy of the United States, an imperial- ist invader of other coun- tries, imposing its will and also reruns of its older and least amusing sitcoms on the weaker members of the world community. I am not a scientist of politics, but what I know is that in my country, at least, the em- bassy of the United States is being staffed by good people who wish us no harm. It is true that Mary Beth Fadoro once very vocally wished harm on my friend Osmo in the general services section, but that had less to do with any international mis- understanding and more with Mary Beth’s reaction to Osmo’s innocent observation that the dimensions of her posterior would necessitate the construction of a special office chair that would then be roomy enough to seat com- fortably two of the local women on the staff. But such tem- pestuous exchanges are rare, and I am proud to work to benefit both of our countries, and to do so with a compet- itive salary. I have worked at the embassy for 11 years and in that time several American supervisors have come and gone, L ANGUAGE BARRIERS POSE A PARTICULARLY THORNY PROBLEM FOR C HARGÉ D ’A FFAIRES L INUS H ANDY . B Y B RIAN A GGELER T Brian Aggeler entered the Foreign Service in 1990, and has served in Europe, Asia and Africa. He also contributes car- toons to the Journal . This story won second place in this year’s FS fiction con- test.