The Foreign Service Journal, July-August 2009

J U LY- A U G U S T 2 0 0 9 / F O R E I G N S E R V I C E J O U R N A L 27 — what happened to the first Mrs. Brady? They never say, do they?” We departed with hugs. On the way out, I passed Bomzar the paper with the points on the United Nations démarche Mr. Linus had attempted to deliver. Realizing his own comeuppance was at hand, Bomzar agreed to de- liver them to the minister. When the ambassador returned the next week with a newly luxuriant head of hair, Mr. Linus proudly reported on this new initiative and was promptly nominated for an award of great meritoriousness and superiority. He, in turn, nominated me for an Extra Mile Award (with cash) and called me to his office to express his appreciation. “Turns out the minister also supported our position at the United Nations —exactly what was in our position paper!” “That is indeed fortunate,” I agreed. Mr. Linus patted my shoulder. “And really, that na- tional dish of yours isn’t so bad.” “As I said, it is turdine.” “You know, that’s not only a distasteful thing to say— it’s not even a word.” “A synonym would be turdoid. That is to say, relating to the family of turdidae, which is the common thrush. That modest bird is, of course, the main ingredient in this most beloved dish.” He stared at me. “Turdine? You’re a smart guy, amigo, but as a native English-speaker I have to tell you: You’re a little out of your depth here.” I must declare that I am jiggy, and not only with the lat- est phrases. As a humble embassy employee I am not one to toot my own cat, but my English-language vocabulary is multitudinous. Yet my American colleagues sometimes, to put it in political parlance, misunderestimate me. “You may wish to consult Dictionary.com,” I ventured. Mr. Linus went around his desk, sat down and tapped at his computer. I waited, permitting myself a small smile. He stared for a long time at the results, then looked up at me and declared: “Well, sfloxnzt…” ■ F O C U S