The Foreign Service Journal, October 2011

adopted as our pet cemetery, first for the rabbit, then for the gerbils. By the time we left, it was something right out of a Stephen King novel. Other ani- mals came and went. But as we soon found out, there were additional threats to pets between postings, as well as during transfers. For example, we acquired some parakeets while I was deployed, a gift for my daughter from a departing fam- ily. The birds seemed simple enough to care for: they chirp, they eat, they drink; you change their paper once a week. But by then we had also ac- quired two cats, one found in the freez- ing rain during a run, and the second rescued from a bad neighborhood. They were dubbed Rascal and Szitza — an exotic-sounding name to Anglo ears, until we took him in for shots and watched the vet roll his eyes. “Ze cat’s name?” “Szitza,” we proudly answer- ed. “Ah, so clever,” he replied. “Yes, of course, the cat’s name is ‘cat’.” I came home for Christmas in 2003 after five months in Iraq and so did not have the proper protective protocols down for this toxic mix of animals. Everyone understood the importance of keeping the door to Rachel’s room closed so that the cats couldn’t get in— everyone, that is, except the new guy. Sure enough, on the day before I was to return, I left the door open; the next thing we knew, there was a cat walking the halls with a bird in its mouth. I chased him down, grabbed the parakeet and after various attempts to revive it, was ready to dispose of it quietly. Then my son said, “Dad, the least you can do is give him a proper burial so Rachel can come to closure.” Right he was. I put the bird in an empty box of checks, surrounded it with cotton balls, and stored it in my dresser, telling Rachel what had happened and prom- ising final rites. But that was before we had the farewell parties to attend, and the final e-mail check at the embassy, and the shopping for gifts for transla- tors and sheiks. Three days later I shot up out of bed in Ramadi, went to the computer, and fired off a message to my eldest son. “Jon, before you do anything else today, I need you to go to my dresser and take out the box in the second drawer. Without letting anyone know, take Rachel across to the field and bury the bird. Let me know when you have done this. Whatever you do, Mom must not know about the bird in the dresser.” Happily, the secret mission was a complete success. The Best-Laid Plans… Toward the end of our tour in Bu- dapest, our youngest son, Daniel, ac- quired an albino corn snake. We shipped our two cats to Canada with- out incident, but getting the snake there was more of a challenge. Since he was non-metallic, we de- cided it would be best to take him through airport security unannounc- ed. So we prepared a small plastic cage for him to occupy while on the plane, and put him inside a knotted sock, inside a cargo pocket, to get through security. It was a nearly perfect plan, but it did not take into account the manda- tory patdown search in Frankfurt. We were told to empty our pockets, which Daniel took to mean everything but the 56 F O R E I G N S E R V I C E J O U R N A L / O C T O B E R 2 0 1 1 We shipped our two cats to Canada without incident, but getting the snake there was more of a challenge. Statement of Ownership, Management and Circulation (required by 39 U.S.C. 3685) 1) Publication Title: Foreign Service Journal 2) Publication No. 01463543 3) Filing Date: October 1, 2009 4) Issue Frequency: Monthly with July/August combined 5) Number of Issues Published Annu- ally: 11 6) Annual Subscription Price: $50.00 7) Complete Mailing Address of Known Office of Publica- tion: 2101 E Street NW, Washington, D.C. 20037-2990 8) Complete Mailing Address of Headquarters of General Business Officer of Publisher: 2101 E Street NW, Washington, D.C. 20037-2990 9) Full Name and Complete Mailing Address of Publisher, Editor and Senior Editor: Publisher: American Foreign Serv- ice Association, 2101 E Street NW, Washington, D.C. 20037-2990; Editor: Steven Alan Honley, 2101 E Street NW, Washington, D.C. 20037-2990; Senior Editor: Susan B. 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Total Paid and/or Requested Circulation: 16,149 D. Free Distribution by Mail (Samples, Complimentary and Other Free): 600 E. Free Distribution Outside the Mail: 1,000 F. Total Free Distribution: 1,600 G. Total Distribution: 16,749 H. Copies Not Distributed (1) Office Use, Leftovers and Spoiled: 325 (2) Returns from News Agents: 0 I. Total: 17,074 J. Percent Paid and/or Requested Cir- culation: 95% Actual Number of Copies of Single Issue Published Nearest to Filing Date: A. Total Num- ber of Copies: 17,662 B. Paid and/or Requested Circulation: (1) Sales Through Dealers and Carriers, Street Vendors and Counter Sales: 0 (2) Mail Subscription: 16,363 C. Total Paid and/or Requested Cir- culation: 16,363 D. Free Distribution by Mail (Samples, Complimentary and Other Free): 400 E. Free Dis- tribution Outside the Mail: 800 F. Total Free Distribution: 1,200 G. Total Distribution: 17,563 H. Copies Not Distributed: (1) Office Use, Leftover, Spoiled: 99 (2) Returns from News Agents: 0 Total: 17,662 Percent Paid and/or Requested Circulation: 93%. I certify that the statements made by me above are correct and complete. (signed) Susan B. Maitra, Senior Editor