The Foreign Service Journal, January-February 2014

THE FOREIGN SERVICE JOURNAL | JANUARY-FEBRUARY 2014 41 clears on hard copy, which is then sent back down electronically as a PDF filled with scrawled notes that require us to squint and hold up the pages to the light for interpretation. But we are getting ahead of ourselves. For the clearances that haven’t come in, it is time to send that shrill e-mail demanding clearance as soon as possible and putting a default clearance time in the subject of the e-mail, followed by a phone call. It can be useful to paste the contents of the package into the body of the e-mail. This is so the material can be read and cleared more easily via BlackBerry, or smartphone, in the unlikely event that someone in the clearance process actually managed to leave the building to interact with contractors, think-tank experts or foreign diplomats assigned to the embassies all around town. Once the default hour has elapsed, we walk around our own office to confirm our internal clearances, saving the acting office director for last. The later we get to her, the more likely it is that she’ll be lost at the bottom of a pile of other clearances from all her work as deputy director, in addition to the added responsibilities of being the acting head of office. Getting her clearance then will be as simple as looking through her office door to confirm that she is still alive. With messages of 140 characters or less, we are usually the first in line at the front office suite when the staff aides invite us to review our Tweet Recommendation Package with the assistant secretary. If we have fallen behind, then by the time we get there, the assistant secretary’s suite on the Sixth Floor is a maelstrom of nervous energy emitted by the other bureaucrats knocking the parquet floors with the heels of their patent-leather shoes as they wait their turn for review. Nobody makes eye contact or shares more than a few innocu- ous words of greeting as they pace, until the office management specialist appears at the entrance and invites in the next victim. It can be tragic to watch successive officers emerge, increasingly sul- len as the afternoon wears on—except, of course, for the political counselor approaching retirement who is already numb from a lifetime of criticism. To the Inner Sanctum But if, as usual, we are invited early, we cruise across the par- quet floors past the staff aides’ watchful eyes and enter the Inner Sanctum of U.S. Policy Formulation and Implementation (as the assistant secretary himself refers to his office). The large, wood- lined room is filled with the evidence of a lifetime of schmoozing in foreign capitals. Most prominent are the rusty spur of a Paraguayan general killed in the Chaco War, a copy of the Bible from the Vatican signed by the Pope, a folded Old Glory that once flew over the embassy in Berlin and is now retired to a tricorner case and, next to the sofas lining the informal seating area, the model trains and airplanes that clutter the surface of an end table built by the General Services Office for that express purpose. On the floor are Persian carpets and on the walls are plaques, portraits, framed news clips, photos of the assistant secretary with leaders of the world and other evidence of his grandeur. Seated behind his desk, the man himself waits for the door to be pulled shut by the Office Management Specialist before clear- ing his throat. He says nothing, for it is our duty to begin. “We liked your recommendations, sir,” is a good place to start. “On the contrary. You’ve written a very good Twitter.” We thank the assistant secretary. We are not smug, and we do not correct him on “tweet” vs. “Twitter.” We are well aware that his satisfaction goes only so far, and we hold our breath in anticipa- tion of qualifiers like “however” and “but.” “But, do you think there’s room to include a democracy mes- sage?” he asks. “If you want one, sir, there is room.” “What about economic growth and prosperity?” “Yes, sir.” “Environment? Energy? Peace? Security?” “All of them, sir.” “I see this tweet is limited to U.S. support for educating male youths. Do you think it’s possible to work in something about edu- cating the girl-child?” (The assistant secretary never says “boys” or “girls.”) “If you would like, sir, we can develop a master message that covers all of our top-line messages.” We know from past experi- ence, from just yesterday in fact, and the day before that and the day before that, that the assistant secretary is keen on jargon and enjoys knowing our team can create such things as top-line mes- sages. We are pleased, though still not smug, to see him nod. “Very well,” he says. “For Twitter?” “For such a lengthy message, we may need to use Facebook.” “Facebook?” Tomorrow will be the first day in a long line of forgettable days in which the assistant secretary sends a “request” for us to use Facebook on his behalf. n Good news @AmbCrickshaw #Democracy #Jobs #Climate #Educ. #Etc. Hear new reasons to #Love USA @#AmbCrickshaw listening tour #AmericaSpeaks2Youth #BagofWind