The Foreign Service Journal, February 2010

F E B R U A R Y 2 0 1 0 / F O R E I G N S E R V I C E J O U R N A L 19 F O C U S O N L I F E & W O R K A F T E R T H E F S S HOULD W E M OVE TO A S ENIOR L IVING F ACILITY ? ou know the old chestnut — In our family, I’m the man and I make the big decisions: how many troops to send to Afghanistan, should the tax- payer subsidize charter schools, should the states legalize gay marriage? My wife, Ann, only decides the “little” questions: where the family lives, which car we buy, what school the kids go to. Well, the decision of whether to sell your home and move to a retirement facility is so fundamental to your lives that both of you had better do the homework and ponder the pros and cons. Those of you who are single need to do the same preparation, of course. Four years ago, I did an article for the Journal on this subject. I’m still no expert, particularly regarding the pros and cons of purchase vs. lease, cooperative or con- dominium, and the several formulas for payment of health care. But by the time you read this, we will have been in our apartment in a new senior retirement place called Fox Hill in Bethesda for about a year, so I’ll draw upon our experience to offer some tips and reflections on the process. Obviously, I am prejudiced. We are comfortable and happy in our new circumstances. Any individual or cou- ple likes to think that the decisions they made were wise. And, by way of truth in advertising, as they say, I should acknowledge that Ann is legally blind from glaucoma and cannot drive. This was an additional argument for getting us settled, with our old Lab, in livable surroundings with friends and support while I was still around. We are both 81, but we reached the decision to move when we were 77. It took some time. Each individual’s and each family’s situation is differ- ent, of course, and each family must do the research and review its own circumstances. Few of us really want to leave our familiar home, but there can be persuasive ar- guments for simplifying your life. We must all face up to the fact of aging, and to the unpredictability of aging’s consequences. Most of us tend to procrastinate, partic- ularly when we can classify a decision — like a war, I sup- pose — as a matter of choice rather than necessity. But in this case postponement is risky. A stroke or heart at- tack, a diagnosis of cancer, or a fall and a broken hip, can occur suddenly with little warning. And the move to a senior facility requires some planning and lead time. For instance, preparing your house or apartment for sale can take quite a while; and after listing it, you could wait some time for an offer in today’s wobbly real estate F EW OF US REALLY WANT TO LEAVE OUR FAMILIAR HOME , BUT THERE CAN BE PERSUASIVE ARGUMENTS FOR SIMPLIFYING YOUR LIFE . B Y B ILL H ARROP Y A former AFSA president, Bill Harrop was an FSO from 1954 to 1993, serving as ambassador to Guinea, Kenya, Seychelles, Zaire and Israel, and as the inspector general of the State Department and Foreign Service.