The Foreign Service Journal, March 2009

22 F O R E I G N S E R V I C E J O U R N A L / M A R C H 2 0 0 9 T he Foreign Service world is changing, and so are the of- fices within the department. Unaccompanied tours are a new reality. War-zone deployments are putting cou- ples in a situation they may be ill-prepared to deal with. The Foreign Service Institute’s Transition Center, which works closely with Foreign Service officers and their families through all phases of their careers, has made a new connec- tion with the implementation of the High-Stress Assignment Outbrief Program, conducted jointly by the Transition Center and the Office of Medical Services. As part of this program, the Transition Center released an unusual DVD this year that provides advice for couples. Mak- ing Sense of Unaccompanied Tours: Insights for Couples in- terweaves stories from six couples, who share strategies for navigating through the many phases of long-term separa- tions. Each couple’s decision to participate in the film demon- strated a belief in the value of shared experiences to under- stand evolving realities. The couples highlight the many dif- ferent options available for dealing with issues in an effective, poignant and meaningful way. This unique training tool frames stories through critical analysis of the larger issues encompassing an unaccompa- nied tour. What goes into making the decision? What are the challenges for each person in his/her respective location? How to communicate? How did each party anticipate the em- ployee’s return home? What were the physical and emotional components of the return home, and how did they reconnect? What expectations did the couple have of each other, and what things surprised them about integrating back into a life now different than they had left? “I’ve never been a person that would sit down and speak with someone about something touchy-feely,” film partici- pant Bill Miller admits. “But now I will very readily sit down and listen to someone and share experiences, because I know it’s good for them to understand that others have gone through very similar situations. We are experiencing things as a Foreign Service family that we have never experienced in the past, and we have to accept new ways of dealing with those things.” Watching the film with a spouse, a partner or any family member can bring an uncomfortable, though essential, dis- cussion out into the open, and catalyze the process of build- ing resilience into the relationship. “I have loaned [the DVD] to two separate couples who are preparing for upcoming un- accompanied tours,” says participant Jane Petitt. “Both re- ported being moved by the frank honesty and comprehensive nature of the interviews. Lending out my copy of the DVD was an easy way to open real conversation about this difficult topic.” Instructors at FSI have used this training tool to gain ad- ditional perspective and compassion for the colleagues they instruct and mentor. For those students not inclined to speak about their unaccompanied tour situations, and those in- structors not inclined to ask, the film provides a valuable op- portunity to look behind the scenes of an officer’s professional life to the personal realities he or she is living. “I often believed that I was the only person who wished, worried and wondered. It is comforting to know that I was not alone in that,” says Petitt. “Despite my extensive experi- ence with unaccompanied tours, even I found the DVD inter- esting. There is no substitute for experience, and people can be wonderful resources for each other.” The culmination of two years in production, Making Sense is available in every CLO resource library worldwide. Copies for those contemplating or going through an unaccompanied assignment may be obtained from the Transition Center at FSI (e-mail Natalya Pestalozzi at PestalozzNG@State.gov ). Ray Leki is director of the Foreign Service Institute’s Transi- tion Center. F O C U S Helping Couples Make Sense of Unaccompanied Tours By Ray Leki station or temporary duty) and whether he or she is com- ing from overseas or Washington. But all Foreign Service employees serving PCS in unaccompanied positions may apply for a Separate Maintenance Allowance to support their EFMs in maintaining a separate household. There are two types of SMA — voluntary and involun- tary. Voluntary SMA is “for special needs or hardship prior to or after arrival at post for reasons including but not lim- ited to career, health, educational or family considerations for the spouse, children or other family member (DSSR 262.2).” Involuntary SMA is “for the convenience of the U.S. government when dangerous, notably unhealthful, or excessively adverse living conditions warrant the exclusion of family from accompanying an employee to the post of assignment (DSSR 262.1).” ISMA is most often sought when an employee PCSs to an unaccompanied post. In conjunction with ISMA, em- ployees are also eligible for a Transitional Separate Main- tenance Allowance when the family members occupy commercial quarters upon arrival at their ISMA location