The Foreign Service Journal, March 2009

Be Philosophical Fortunately, you and your family can get through an evacuation. In fact, with a bit of luck and some de- termination, and by keeping the fol- lowing principles in mind, you can even find aspects of the situation to enjoy — or at least turn to your ad- vantage. The evacuation will change you. Hopefully, the dis- ruption will be short-lived and minimal. But just as liv- ing overseas has transformed your lives, and you will never again be who you were before, an evacuation will also change you. So view the situation as a chance to reinvent yourself and find out just what you’re capable of. It’s probably more than you suspect. Resist the temptation to sit at home and mope. I daily fought the overwhelming urge to sit in my rental house, stare at the walls and watch the news in the futile hope that it would make time go faster. Oddly enough, it did not; but it did make my entire family more miserable. Don’t parcel your life into four-week blocks. An or- dered departure is re-evaluated every 28 days. If the status quo continues, you’ll be disheartened. And if the ordered departure is lifted, you’ll have approximately 72 hours to pack and get on a plane to go back “home.” Knowing that, you may find yourself avoiding longer- term commitments; for months I even refused to make an appointment to get my hair cut. Instead, always be- lieve you’ll go back to post at the end of the four weeks — but also plan to be away for awhile. Evacuation is hard on your spouse, too. For my hus- band, a large portion of his memories of the evacuation period are of fighting his way through crowds of 50,000 angry demonstrators to get into the embassy every day and working 24/7 with only two people in his office. He had a nearly two-hour commute, each way, in bumper- to-bumper traffic. And, of course, he was separated from me, our 2-year-old and a newborn whom he hardly knew. I was having such rough going in the States that I found it difficult to sympathize with him and the phe- nomenal amount of stress in his life. I’m ashamed to admit that it took me months to realize that he needed my support and encouragement just as much as I needed his. An evacuation can be fun! Yes, it is a traumatic ex- perience, and not something I’d wish on anyone, but it doesn’t have to be completely dire. Tell yourself and your children that it’s a surprise paid vacation to the States. For instance: You have to have a place to live, and the State Depart- ment provides funds to help defray expenses. But who’s to say that your abode can’t be a beach house in North Carolina? Or a ski lodge in the Rockies? Is there a place you’ve always wanted to visit in the U.S., but time has always been too short? This may be your opportunity. And while you’re at it, invite your friends and family to get a place of their own nearby. Then there are all the little luxuries that go along with being in the States. Shop at Target every day and park in the front row of the parking lot; have someone else bag your groceries at the grocery story, after finding ex- actly what you were looking for (cheddar cheese! cream of mushroom soup!); go see a first-run movie in English with no subtitles; drink the tap water; and best of all, re- connect with your friends and family and create some good memories you wouldn’t have been able to make otherwise. Coping Mechanisms All that said, how do you manage to get through daily life with a smile on your face and a song in your heart in what are often very difficult circumstances? Though the following tips mainly apply to families with children, because that’s generally the most difficult situation, I believe they will help anyone who is sepa- rated from loved ones during an evacuation. Stay in close contact with FLO. Check in regularly with the Family Liaison Office, which is responsible for main- taining contact with evacuees. The office is staffed with remarkably compassionate and experienced people who will go out of their way to help you. FLO will keep you abreast of what is happening, and will be the first to tell you when the evacuation is lifted. And if you have any difficulties with your allowances, schools, etc., that office is your best front-line contact. Your Community Liaison Officer, who is responsible for coordinating the evacuation from post, may also be working there. You can contact FLO with questions before an evacua- tion, too. FLO maintains an excellent Web site with a 32 F O R E I G N S E R V I C E J O U R N A L / M A R C H 2 0 0 9 F O C U S Just as living overseas has transformed your lives, an evacuation will also change you.