I felt that I was representing the best of what America has to offer and serving my country. False statements have portrayed me as a criminal to my fellow citizens. The misinformation and wrongful accusations about USAID and FSOs, along with the flood of unpredictable orders and lack of guidance about their implementation, have resulted in my family feeling very stressed. It is especially frustrating because the chaos seems to be inflicted intentionally and is actually at odds with the purported vision to safeguard and increase benefits to U.S. citizens of U.S. taxpayer funds. I Believed in the Mission I grew up in California, the first in my immigrant family to earn a college degree. Fourteen years ago, I joined USAID because I wanted to make a difference—helping communities grow their own food, protect their land, and build better futures. My work has taken me all over the world, and just seven months ago, I moved my family again for a new role, believing in the mission and the stability it provided us. Now, everything is falling apart. The push to recall diplomats and shut down USAID isn’t just about losing a job—it’s about losing our home, our security, and our future. The public attacks on us have been heartbreaking, but what’s worse is the uncertainty for my family. Our last transition was difficult, and we are just now settling into our new home—one we are suddenly being ordered to leave. On top of that, my son needs surgery, which can’t be performed in the high-security-risk country to which we’ve been assigned. We resigned ourselves to waiting until the next time we’re in the U.S. for the procedure, relying on the stability of our insurance when we opted to wait. If we’re forced to move abruptly, I don’t know how we’ll ensure his medical care. I’ve spent my career helping others build security in their lives. Now, my own family is being thrown into chaos. It’s terrifying, and I don’t know what comes next. Keeping Americans Safe I’m originally from Virginia and have served in and around USAID for more than 20 years. I’ve worked directly for USAID for more than 10 years, much of that time spent working on the front lines in Afghanistan and across Africa, with the rest spent in Washington, D.C., on peace and security policy implementation. My entire career has been devoted to programs that advance U.S. national security and foreign policy objectives, from stabilizing fragile regions to promoting peacebuilding efforts in conflict-affected zones. These missions are not abstract— they’ve required real sacrifices, long hours in volatile environments, and unwavering commitment to U.S. values abroad. But my work is important, and it keeps my fellow Americans safe. The recent efforts to recall Foreign Service officers and downsize USAID have had a deeply personal impact on me and my family. But more than that, this decision threatens to undo years of work by dedicated American patriots, who have risked their lives to protect U.S. interests and promote stability globally. I have colleagues who made the ultimate sacrifice while serving, and many others who carry the invisible scars of their time in conflict zones. Their sacrifices—and those of their families—deserve recognition and respect, not abandonment. For us, this isn’t just about jobs or bureaucratic shifts—it’s about the deep commitment we’ve made to service and the mission we believe in. My family and I have carried the weight of that responsibility, knowing that what we do saves lives, builds peace, and protects the U.S. at home. But now, it feels as though our commitment is being disregarded, leaving us uncertain about what comes next. Welcome to Post I’m an FSO from Texas, and I’ve been with USAID for 12 years total, although this is my first year as an FSO. I arrived at post on Jan. 25, just as USAID was beginning to be dismantled. The day I arrived, the Trump administration announced a freeze on foreign aid. On day six, I received notice that all global staff would be put on administrative leave and had to leave the country. Everything I owned was in transit to post; I’m now told the shipment will be held until further instructions arrive. When it finally does arrive at post, it will have to clear customs in country before it can be sent back home. It will be at least 8 months before I am reunited with my possessions. “My husband and I now face homelessness, with nowhere to go once we return to the U.S.” THE FOREIGN SERVICE JOURNAL | APRIL-MAY 2025 55
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