56 APRIL-MAY 2025 | THE FOREIGN SERVICE JOURNAL “I carry the greater burden of knowing our abrupt withdrawal has left our Belarusian partners in real mortal danger from an authoritarian regime.” No Hope After Miscarriage I am an FSO from Missouri. I’ve worked for USAID for a decade—first as a contractor and then in the Foreign Service. I am currently posted to a tiny country surrounded by neighbors facing civil war, terrorism, and famine. Where I am serving, there are no playgrounds, no grass, rampant malaria, no fresh fruit, no potable water. I moved here with my young children to represent the U.S. government and help advance key national security objectives. The last three weeks have been terrifying for me and my family. We face the prospect of losing my job, our sole source of income; our only home; and our health insurance. We’ll have to rip our children out of school in the middle of the school year. Worst of all, at the end of last year we decided to try for another child knowing that we would be at post this fall, and early this year I found out I was pregnant. The physical and psychological stress of the past weeks—not eating, not sleeping, rushing to pack up our lives with only a few days’ notice, getting our pet’s health clearance to travel on a day’s notice, trying to reassure my staff in what little way I could that I am looking out for them—all of that resulted in a miscarriage yesterday. Now the one last glimmer of hope for what we saw our lives being in 2025 is gone. Leaving Partners in Danger I am a Foreign Service officer with more than 16 years of service. I am from California and have proudly served in Afghanistan, the Philippines, Haiti, USCENTCOM, Guatemala, South Sudan, Iraq, the Ebola response in West Africa, and now the mission to Belarus. Before joining USAID, I was a Peace Corps volunteer in Morocco. My entire adult life has been dedicated to service. I have been rocketed, shot at, missed family milestones, and endured health challenges, but I have always been proud to represent my country and USAID’s mission: From the American People. My husband and I arrived in Belarus in mid-December 2024, spending thousands of our own dollars to relocate. After a grueling year in Juba—where we faced constant threats of violence and evacuation—this assignment offered a chance for stability. In South Sudan, my husband suffered severe pneumonia twice, likely from diesel fumes from the compound generators next to our hooch. He was eventually medically evacuated to South Africa, spending a week in the hospital on oxygen. We were relieved to start fresh with health care and a safe home. Just as we were settling in, a day after our household effects and car arrived, we were told that the organization I have dedicated my life to no longer exists. Our house is in chaos, filled with unopened boxes. I am panicked that I won’t have time to organize travel for my cat. How can I plan another international move with no information? I am close to retirement but not close enough. I have committed my life to serving my country, repeatedly going into danger, trusting that my pension and health care would be there for my family if the worst happened. Beyond the very intense stress and anxiety of losing my career, income, and health care, I carry the greater burden of knowing our abrupt withdrawal has left our Belarusian partners in real mortal danger from an authoritarian regime. And no one back home seems to care. n
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy ODIyMDU=