The Foreign Service Journal, May 2004

MAY 2004 • AFSA NEWS 9 AFSA Personal Property and Transit Insurance Did you know that as a member of AFSA you could be taking advantage of the only insurance program to offer personal effects and transit coverage everywhere outside the United States without restriction? For over 25 years, AFSA has offered comprehensive personal property insurance to its membership. Today, more than 1,000 members are enrolled in our various insurance programs. For personal property insurance, the cost is the same as it was in 1973, just $.75 per $100 of basic cov- erage. The AFSA Plan — only available to AFSA members — was the first to offer full replacement-value coverage for personal property, and to offer it for no additional charge. The rate remains the same even for high-risk posts. The AFSA Plan also offers the broadest personal property coverage available anywhere. It includes coverage for earthquake, flood, mysterious disappear- ance, breakage of non-fragile articles, denting and scratching. Coverage is even available for storage in the United States. Personal liability insurance, if selected, applies worldwide. The claims process is based on an honor policy: it is simple and friendly, and does not require the completion of forms. While on assignment abroad, consider taking advantage of the AFSA Plan. For more information on AFSA insurance programs, please contact AFSA Member Services at (202) 338-4045, ext. 525, or member@afsa.org. ▫ AFSA NEWS BRIEFS Continued from page 5 This is the first in our series “On the Lighter Side,” humor from members of the Foreign Service community. Send your submissions (under 500words, fiction&cartoons welcome) to afsanews@afsa.org. ON THE LIGHTER SIDE A Meeting of Minds BY JOHN BOYLL S taffmeetings are a lot like services atmyoldchurch—required events where youmust sit quietly in one spot for an agoniz- ingly long timewhile oneperson, typicallyof dubious author- ity, blabbers on endlessly about how bad things are. In theofficeworld, however,meetings are as unavoidable as nose hair, so we should learn to live with them (meetings or nose hair, take your pick). Like church, meetings have rules. By not follow- ing them, you risk being sucked down screaming into the earth’s crust. There are two rules for success at anymeeting. First—the yel- lownote pad. When themeeting authority speaks, you take notes. This convinces theauthority that youare listening intently, andmakes him/her think, ‘That Boyll is a real go-getter. Promotion materi- al.’ Conveniently, however, nobody ever checks to seewhat youactu- ally write: ‘Will this person ever shut up? I’ve heard more inter- esting speakers at the County Weed Control Board.’ The second rule of meeting success — if asked to speak, say “Nothing to report.” If you fail to say “Nothing to report,” every- one else instantly despises you for trying to look good before the authority and for drawing the meeting out even longer. After that, however, there are no firm rules. So long as your body is anchored in the chair next to your colleagues, your mind is allowed to wander to distant galaxies. My mind often makes it past Neptune before zooming back for a change in topic and a required taking of notes. Take my last meeting. Having counted the number of ceiling tiles (64) at least three times to be sure I had not missed the par- tial tiles along the left side of the room—which only count as half tiles, making the calculation a little more difficult — I am struck by a thought ... The nose is a very well-placed organ. I cannot imagine a bet- ter place on the entire body for the oldhonker tobe located. What if it was inyour armpit? You’dhave to lift your armto smell things. Quiet stillness is thewellspringof creativity, they say. Theymight be right. I noticeMax, the colleague tomy left. Judging byhis facial expression, his mind is somewhere near the Crab Nebula. Max suddenly turns and whispers, “If the world stopped spin- ning, wouldn’t we be sucked right down into the earth’s crust?” I believe he is right. Centrifugal force is the only thing keeping us from being welded into the earth’s mantle by gravitational pull. Then I begin thinking — if gravity were suddenly turned off, the same force would fling us off the face of the earth into outer space. Cool ... My thoughts, by this time so randomthat they could be used to select winning lottery numbers, are rudely interrupted. Meeting Authority: “Boyll, any words of wisdom?” Youwill recall, the only correct response is “Nothing to report.” The real danger in having a mind of one’s own, it turns out, is the temptation to actually speak it. Me: “You know, I really like Spanish olives.” Church and meetings are not the same after all. In meetings, you are oftendirectly responsible to the speaking authority andnot just to God. God, I believe, is a much more forgiving type. ▫ John Boyll is an FSO with the State Department. He has served in con- sular positions in Manila and Frankfurt, and is currently assigned to Mexico City.