The Foreign Service Journal, May 2005

M any parents in the Foreign Service are concerned with how the lifestylewill affect their children. One often hears that Foreign Service children come to depend on their siblings and family units for their social stability, because these families are the only consistency in their lives. Though I have acknowledged this statement over the years, it did not mean a lot to me until recently, when I read an essay written by my 12-year- old son about his 14-year-old brother for a school English assignment: “Imagine a young man, 14 years of age with redhair and lots of freckles. That’smy brother in a nutshell. Hewas a good friend when I needed him, even if he beatme up sometimes. Hehaswildhair, big feet, and he’spretty smart. Hehas blue eyes, a light complexion. He’s fairly tall, long fingers, and used to have slight overbite. “When my family and I were mov- ing around he was oftenmy only friend because we frequently had to move to new places where we didn’t know any- one. We often used to play games and such together. When we had been in a country for awhile, wemight seema bit farther apart, but that would change when we had to move again. “We fight pretty often. Usually it’s whenwearebored inanewhouse. Often it ends up likeuswrestling. Weboth love computers and he often tries to get me toplay a gamewithhimonour network or on one computer with some games. We both annoy each other a lot, often to the point of insanity, especially when wewant each other to do somethingwe don’t want to do. He used to be a lot worse tome thanhe is now. He used to beatmeupall the time just for fun. Now he’s a lot better. He often tries to help me through toughassignments and tries to get me ready for high school. All in all he is a very good brother and a great friend (most of the time).” Sometimes, when one is in the thrall of moving and settling into a new cul- ture and home, it is easy to forget that our youngsters are also going through massive changes with each move. New homes, newschool cultures, differing city amenities and other changes canbedisori- enting for any child. It is easy to say that children are resilient and will adapt, but everyonehas differing ways of coping with change. In the case of my sons, clearly it benefited them to have the consistency of one another while adapting to new homes, new schools and new peer groups. My children and I have now settled back in the States, and I hear fromthem a great deal of comfort in knowing that theywill live in the samehouse andcom- munity formore than two to three years. Yet, as they invest their hearts inour new home, I see that they continue to rely on the skills theydeveloped in the years they spent moving and the strengths of their relationshipwithone another. It is a joy to see already that their relationship is a keeper thatwill allowthemto turn toone another in times of need and joy. ▫ Victoria Hess is the former spouse of a Foreign Service officer and now lives with her children in Jackson Hole, Wyo. Andrew was born in Bonn, Germany, and has lived with his fam- ily in Bombay, Bethesda, Peshawar, Harare and Bethesda. FS VOICE: FAMILY MEMBER MATTERS ■ BY ANDREW AND VICTORIA HESS Children’s Resiliency in the Foreign Service MAY 2005 • AFSA NEWS 9 When settling into a new culture and home, it is easy to forget that our youngsters are also going through massive changes with each move. AFSA NEWS BRIEFS Briefs • Continued from page 8 FSYF Seeks Program Director The Foreign Service Youth Foundation, a 501(c.)(3) non-profit organization, is searching for a part- time program director to implement and oversee program events in sup- port of the foundation’s mission to serve Foreign Service youth. Program events will be designed and delivered in response to membership needs and interests but will include publishing youth newsletters, outdoor adventure retreats, community service activities and family picnics. The program director will be called upon to work as needed with other FSYF program directors, volunteers and staff on FSYF programs — including, but not limited to, AWAL (High School), Globe Trotters (middle school) and Diplokids (elementary school) living in the NorthernVirginia area. The hours are flexible, but the candidate must be available some weekends and afternoons/evenings. Salary is $18 to $25 per hour, for three to seven hours per week. This is an ideal job for a former Foreign Service youth living in NorthernVirginia or a Foreign Service spouse who plans to remain in the U.S. for an extended period. Candi- dates returning to theWashington area this summer are welcome to apply. For more information or to apply, please contact FSYF Executive Director Melanie Newhouse at fsyf@fsyf.org or call (301) 404-6655. More informa- tion about FSYF is at theWeb site: www.fsyf.org. ▫