The Foreign Service Journal, May 2011

M y dad left for Iraq in August. My mom, my little brother and I were all distressed, but we knew it was only for a year, and that he would come visit us here in Mo- rocco in just three months. I also found out that the anticipation leading up to the day he left was much worse than when he actually left. Life hasn’t been quite the same, but I’ve learned that there are both pros and cons to my dad’s leaving. When my dad was here, my parents would talk during dinner about work and the news; things that didn’t inter- est me. I even got into the habit of rais- ing my hand when I wanted to speak, like I do at school. But now that he isn’t here, I can talk about things that I’d like to talk about, like what I learned that day. Another pro is that we can go to bed later. When my dad was here, we had a strict bedtime of 8:30 so that my par- ents could spend time together or watch TV shows that they liked before they went to sleep. Now that my dad isn’t here, my mom is much more flex- ible. Now, she lets us watch television with her until around 9:30 before we go to bed. An additional positive aspect is that since my mom needs to work (and sometimes even travel) we hired a French au pair. She helps us with our French studies and plays with us when my mom doesn’t have the energy or the time. However, there are many cons, as well. For instance, whenmy father was around he used to read to my brother before bed, so that I could watch TV or read with my mom. He used to cook things my mom doesn’t know how to make that I miss. Also, just not having him around feels … different. I play the piano, and I’ve been play- ing since I was 5 years old. My dad al- ways sat with me and corrected things like my hand position or speed. He also helped me memorize difficult pieces for recitals. My mom doesn’t even know how to read music. My brother, who is 6, thinks that an- other result of my dad being away is that we seem to be getting sick more often. “Because you’re sad inside, your cells can’t fight the bacteria,” says my brother, the budding scientist. It is always hardest when my mom needs to travel for work, because then I feel lonely and upset. Even though my mom doesn’t have to travel a lot, any time she does it makes me sad. Even if she tells me weeks before, it al- ways somehow takes me by surprise. Something that helps us get through my dad’s absence is that we know he’s safe and we’ll see him very soon. Also, we have many means of communica- tion. Almost every night, we videochat through Skype. We also communicate through Facebook and through e-mail. But, when the Internet is down or slow, or our computer isn’t working, it feels like we’re disconnected from my dad. We’ve gotten used to seeing him all the time even if it’s through a screen. Every three months, my dad gets R&R time to visit us for 2½ weeks. He actually gets three weeks off, but it takes two days each way to travel from Baghdad. It is fun making plans with him when he is here. For instance, on his first visit, we went to Geneva, think- ing it would be the exact opposite of Baghdad. On his next trip, we are meeting up in the States so we can see my grandparents. I suppose my dad going to Iraq helped me understand that it’s hard having a parent away, but it also taught me a lesson: I realize how much I love him, something that I didn’t appreci- ate all of the time before. I really miss my dad, and can’t wait to see him again! Yasmin Ranz-Lind, the daughter of FSOs David Ranz and Taly Lind, is a fifth-grader at the Rabat American School, a reporter for the school paper and a lifetime Foreign Service brat. Just not having him around feels … different. 84 F O R E I G N S E R V I C E J O U R N A L / M A Y 2 0 1 1 R EFLECTIONS A Dad in Iraq B Y Y ASMIN R ANZ -L IND