The Foreign Service Journal, May 2013

THE FOREIGN SERVICE JOURNAL | MAY 2013 61 AFSA NEWS Remembering Carolina THE FORE I GN SERV I CE FAMI LY Sitting at her memorial service, surrounded by her friends and family rocked with grief, I could not get one thought out of my mind: there’s more to the story of the life of Carolina Handall Sanchez-Bustamante, and what we can learn from her example. Carolina was impossible to forget, and those who memorialized her were too polite to say what was obvi- ous to anyone who met her— she was stunning. Willow- thin, 5’9’’, honey-blond long hair, chocolate brown eyes and an Anne Hathaway-sized smile. Yet for someone so physically striking, she was totally unassuming. She was also exceedingly generous. A day after arriving in Quito, she called me, while I was surrounded by suit- cases and toddlers bouncing off the walls. “I’m Carolina Sanchez-Bustamante, and I just wanted to welcome you to Quito!” With her high-pitched, melodic voice, she provided helpful tips for finding child- care and housing and work- ing outside of the embassy. She made sure I had all of her phone numbers and offered her assistance, day or night. In my many overseas tours, I had never received a similar call. Carolina was always thoughtful. Two years later, before she left Quito for her next adventure, she made the time—in between doting on her two girls, attending going-away parties, pack- ing her house, undergoing hernia surgery and preparing for a new life in Africa—to call her friends to tell them how much their friendship meant to her. I was one of the lucky few on the receiving end of that phone call, and I will always remember the uniqueness of the experi- ence. She was always positive about her role as a Foreign Service spouse, and never complained publicly about the constant moves, the job search in each country or the new schools for her children. She wasn’t naïve; she just didn’t have the inclination to complain about things she couldn’t change. Her positive attitude was contagious, and I often resolved after our con- versations to be a better wife, mother and FS spouse. When I once complained to her how my father still corrected my Spanish, she responded, “I love it when people correct my English! Will you promise to correct me when you hear me make a mistake?” During their tours in El Salvador, Ecuador and Ghana, Carolina accompa- nied her husband to hun- dreds of official events where she worked the room, met the important players and connected with people. She didn’t see participating as a burden imposed on her by virtue of her being a spouse of an embassy official, but rather, as an opportunity. She understood that she could play an important role in rep- resenting the United States just by being herself, and showing others that America had many talents and many faces. In her final month to live, although private with her illness, she maintained her graciousness. She sent out dozens of supportive, life-affirming messages to her friends: “Have a great birthday!” “Beautiful work, congratulations my dear friend.” It is so easy to get caught up in life and lose focus of the things that truly mat- ter. Carolina taught me that the Foreign Service is about people. The ones who serve in it, their family members who share the experience, the ones we try to help, the ones who leave us far too early. I suspect we would have a happier and more productive Sewrvice if we all kept that approach in mind, and took the time to prac- tice it the next time a new family arrives, a new policy is developed or a leave request crosses our desks. We lose nothing by trying. And we honor Carolina Handall Sanchez-Bustamante each time we do. n Amanda Fernandez is a Foreign Service spouse and economic development con- sultant based in Washington, D.C. She has served overseas in Angola, Argentina, Bosnia- Herzegovina, Colombia, the Dominican Republic, Ecuador and Ghana. BY AMANDA FERNANDEZ Support the New U.S. Diplomacy Center and Museum The new U.S. Diplomacy Center and Museum will showcase the history and importance of diplomacy and development. A groundbreaking at the 21st Street NW side of the Department of State will take place this summer. AFSA strongly supports this project and is coordinating a donation campaign. We invite every member of the Foreign Service to show support by making a secure, modest contribu- tion a t www.afsa.org/usdc . To learn more about the USDC, please visit diplomacy.state.gov. NEWS BRIEF