The Foreign Service Journal, June 2010

O ccasionally young people ask me about the Foreign Service as a career. Mostly they want to know what academic background I recommend, how to prepare for the entrance examination and whether for- eign languages are required. Yet the questions they don’t think to ask are, to my mind, some of the most important. This has happened often enough to prompt me to jot down some reflections on diplomatic life, especially as it affects children. The positive aspects are obvious — learning foreign languages, gaining an appreciation of other cultures and de- veloping an international outlook. But the negative aspects should not be underestimated. My wife and I moved 19 times during our 24-year- long career. At first that was fun and exciting. But later, when children ar- rived after 10 years of marriage, it be- came more problematic. It’s one thing for adults to uproot themselves, but quite another for chil- dren to be torn away from friends, school and home. Our children were both born in Paris, but they spent their early years in Washington. They did not want to leave D.C. for Geneva, and then did not want to leave there for Paris, although now they love France as much as we do. The fact of our children’s rootless- ness hit home at a social event in Geneva when a lady asked our 6-year- old daughter where her home was. Sabrina looked up at me, not knowing what to say. That evening, we explained to our children that home for themwas where they were at the moment. That’s why we took all our favorite possessions with us when we moved (even at the risk of loss or breakage). The big difference between us and them, however, is that we always had the U.S., and specifically California, where wewere both born and raised, as a home reference point. As they said when they were older: “For you, the U.S. will always be home. For us, it’s not.” Except for brief visits on home leave, the children never really got to know their grandparents and vice versa, not to mention cousins and other rela- tives. And we parents did not enjoy the built-in babysitting often provided by grandparents at home! Also unfortunately, during our ca- reer terrorism became a growth indus- try, making diplomatic service less attractive than before. An American cultural attaché, for example, is an ideal “soft target” with a fairly high profile but without protection. Again, it’s one thing to accept that sort of risk for oneself; but I had to ask myself if I had the right to subject my children to that risk. Ultimately, my an- swer was no. I think the tipping point was a rather spooky telephone call received at home one night at the beginning of the Gulf War. The caller, allegedly repre- senting the French counterintelligence service (Renseignements Généraux), wanted to know my detailed schedule for a trip to Rennes. I was due to open an exhibit there the following day titled “The American West,” something I wanted my children to see. I canceled the trip. When I retired, it felt as if a weight had been lifted frommy shoulders—a burden I didn’t even realize I’d been carrying. Bureaucrats in Washington would no longer decide where my fam- ily and I would live for the next two to four years or what size living quarters we were allowed. And I wouldn’t be representing the United States 24/7. I have no regrets about my career, but also no regrets about leaving it. At age 16, with our encouragement, both children requested and obtained French citizenship, making them dual nationals. Being able to live and work in any of the expanding number of E.U. countries is potentially a great advan- tage for them. Ironically, they both nowwork at the U.S. embassy in Paris, although in dif- ferent capacities. And they both con- sider France their home. ■ Christopher Henze, a retiredUSIA Sen- ior Foreign Service officer living in France, served in South Africa, Tanza- nia, Slovenia, Switzerland and France (twice). “For you, the U.S. will always be home. For us, it’s not.” 92 F O R E I G N S E R V I C E J O U R N A L / J U N E 2 0 1 0 R EFLECTIONS Where’s Home? B Y C HRISTOPHER H ENZE