The Foreign Service Journal, June 2011

J U N E 2 0 1 1 / F O R E I G N S E R V I C E J O U R N A L 73 P ROMOTING Y OUR C HILD ’ S E MOTIONAL H EALTH I S THE FS LIFESTYLE GOOD OR BAD FOR CHILDREN ? T HERE ’ S NO RIGHT ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION , BUT THERE ARE WAYS TO PROTECT AND PROMOTE YOUR T HIRD C ULTURE K ID ’ S EMOTIONAL WELL - BEING . B Y R EBECCA G RAPPO espite the spread of globalization and the sharp increase in the size of the American expatriate population around the world, a clear understanding of the emotional and psychological demands and implications of an internationally mobile lifestyle — for children, in par- ticular — is still at a premium. This was brought home to me in a rather dramatic way at a conference several years ago. A former headmaster stood before an audience of seasoned expats in the crowded ball- room to talk about his experiences working in the world of international schools. Transitioning to a new school is easy, he stated. If a parent just drops the child off in the morning and waits until lunch, they will see that the child has already adjusted. Those in the room let out an audible gasp, and when he finished his remarks the audience swarmed the stage like angry bees in a hive. He had committed a major sin in the eyes of the parents in that audience: he had assumed that transitioning to a new international school was easy. In fact, making the leap to expat life is always a major life decision. But when there are children or adolescents involved, the calculus becomes much more complicated. To be sure, there has been much written and said about the ben- efits of raising a global nomad, or Third Culture Kid. By liv- ing around the world, children and teens are exposed to cul- tural and travel experiences that few others have. But as every parent knows, the international moves every few years that accompany the Foreign Service lifestyle can be a real challenge for kids. Some seem to thrive on the change and look forward to the next move with excitement, but most par- ents are well familiar with the lament about leaving friends behind and starting all over again. And, at one time or another, most Foreign Service parents ask themselves the same questions: What am I doing to my kid? Is this globally nomadic lifestyle a good thing or a bad thing? There are no right or wrong answers to these ques- tions; but there are ways to protect and promote the emo- tional well-being and resilience of internationally mobile children. What Makes TCKs Tick? Let’s begin by quickly examining some of the major char- acteristics of a TCK. As first laid out in the book Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds by David C. Pollock and Ruth Van Reken, most TCKs grow up to be resilient, flexible, adaptable and open to other cultures and ways of thinking as a result of their experiences. They usu- ally love travel, adventure and diversity. Living abroad usu- ally leads to intellectual curiosity about how the world is interconnected. Many of these kids also grow up to be mul- tilingual, and have a lifelong interest in all things interna- tional. However, TCKs can also be rootless and restless, know- S CHOOLS S UPPLEMENT Rebecca Grappo, a certified educational planner and the founder of RNG International Educational Consultants, works with Third Culture Kids around the world and is a fre- quent presenter on the topic of global mobility and its impact on children. Ms. Grappo also does placements for boarding school, boarding school for learning disabilities and thera- peutic school and programs, and works with students on col- lege applications. Married to a career Foreign Service officer, she has raised their three children internationally. You can visit her Web site at www.rebeccagrappo.com, or e-mail her at Rebecca@rebeccagrappo.com. D