The Foreign Service Journal, June 2011

78 F O R E I G N S E R V I C E J O U R N A L / J U N E 2 0 1 1 S CHOOLS S UPPLEMENT children can show signs of emotional stress that affect their health. Rebecca Oden, herself an adult TCK, the mother of TCKs and an international teacher, spent hundreds of hours of her own research on resilience in such children. She found that kids can become casualties of multiple career moves and, therefore, struggle because their coping tools have been “depleted.” Overwhelmed with constant change, they may become less attached and more cau- tious in forming relationships with each successive move, thus undercut- ting the basis for a healthy life. Bigger kids can have bigger prob- lems, too; and adolescence can be an especially challenging time. Some deal with the stress of adjustment by becoming oppositional, or won’t get out of bed in the morning because of depression. Some turn to drugs and alcohol for comfort, while others iso- late themselves. They may act out or shut down. Depression, anxiety and other mental health conditions are more common than one might think. Children who have learning differ- ences that cannot be addressed ade- quately in the school setting seem to be particularly at risk. Maybe these kids would have struggled regardless, but international moves can certainly exacerbate issues. Parental instruction about emo- tions and getting kids to open up about them may become more difficult as the child moves through adolescence. When parents notice mood changes in their children, and feel unable to com- municate, it is often helpful to get another adult involved. This could be a family friend, teacher, counselor or mental health professional. The health unit at post can help parents find qualified mental health professionals who may be available locally. But it is critical to find help, whatever the source. The two mis- takes I see parents make over and over are being too hopeful that things will turn around on their own, and waiting too long to take action. The emotional well-being of TCKs is based on positive, nurturing relationships with their families, their peers and at school.