The Foreign Service Journal, June 2014

70 JUNE 2014 | THE FOREIGN SERVICE JOURNAL EDUCATION SUPPLEMENT Reach out, and build rapport . How do you approach the learning specialist or counselor? Don’t be shy! I recommend stopping by their office at a non-hectic time to set up an appointment. Depending on the severity of the issues, the specialist may already be involved and know about the situation. They may invite you to meet on the spot, or ask you to return at a mutually agreeable time. Either way, be prepared to give your impression of what’s happening, and let them know you would value their opinion. If you are lucky, you will connect with someone who understands school politics and how to effectively pursue the best interest of your child. For example, there have been times when I’ve spoken with a child or teacher at the parent’s request without mentioning that the parent had sparked my concern. On other occasions, I could conveniently arrange a meet- ing with the principal because I heard “through the grapevine” about a problem. Step Two: Preparing for Your First Meeting (Or Your Tenth) Recognize efforts. Sometimes tensions are running high. The teacher seems averse to helping Tommy. Tommy seems averse to working with the teacher. The counselor is concerned about Marie’s lack of interest in school. You are concerned about the school’s lack of interest in Marie. And so on. The point is, everyone must come together to resolve the issue for the sake of the child. When approaching issues with school faculty and staff, try first to acknowledge the efforts of the school— even if you don’t think it has done enough to help. For example, “Thank you, Ms. Smith, for meeting me today. I really appreciate your time.” Be sure to cite any extra observations, testing or assessments performed. Be objective. Do your homework and brainstorm objective language to describe your concerns—language that reflects your observations, rather than your feel- ings. So for example, instead of “Tommy is a mess!” it would be more helpful to say: “We have noticed that Tommy is strug- gling with chronic disorganization—the planner, the binder and the management of time and assignments.” Most academic skills are easier to describe objectively than behavior. But instead of “Jane is always throwing tan- trums at home; she shows no respect,” try: “Jane has become very defiant at home, mostly when we want compliance for basic family expectations. Last night we asked her to begin her homework, and she burst into tears and retreated to her bedroom for hours.” Be specific and try to quantify. Parents (and schools) must also work to identify the data points you believe are important and how you are monitoring them. You may have observed that your high school daughter is struggling with reading, even though she is in numerous Advanced Placement classes. But what have you noticed about this struggle? For example, Seek out the learning specialist or special educator even if your child presents with a non-academic problem.