The Foreign Service Journal, June 2020

58 JUNE 2020 | THE FOREIGN SERVICE JOURNAL EDUCATION SUPPLEMENT words—well under the limit for GMU, but fine for a tightly written essay—it will be easier to shorten the same essay for UVA. She digs out a paper she wrote on this book, but she’s aware that most colleges do not welcome academic writing, so the paper will mostly serve as inspiration. Extracurricular activity . Rachel will write 150 words for Michigan about her love of basketball and her growing leadership experience (she’s now team co-captain), focusing on engendering a sense of mission and camaraderie. The two “unique” essay prompts are already fairly well defined, so Rachel doesn’t need further brainstorming on them at this stage. Writing the Main Essay Now that the essay topics are all spelled out, Rachel can get down to writing the main essay. She starts by creating a para- graph structure, with an opening hook: 1. Vignette of her three very different dogs playing together; how their lives have changed. 2. Background of her interest in vol- unteering for dog rescue organiza- tions; why she cares. 3. The differences and similarities between the three shelters/coun- tries. 4. How her responsibilities grew as she grew older, and what she learned. 5. Back to her dogs: how they are her family’s “newest Americans,” yet remind her of the countries they came from and inspire her to continue helping the world’s street dogs. Rachel gets some feedback on her main essay froma trusted familymember. (Having toomany editors can get confusing and dilute the writer’s voice.)