The Foreign Service Journal, July-August 2003

t started innocently enough when Frank spotted Ambassador Denise Lefevre listing down the dusty linoleum of a sixth-floor hall in Main State. “Excuse me, Madam Ambassador. Please allow me to introduce myself. I’m Frank Lee, and I’ll be starting in the Pol/Econ Section in Guineatown next month.” The ambassador was a pinched, elderly woman. Lank hair at the nape of her neck trailed dan- druff on the back of a frayed seer- sucker suit. She smiled blankly. “Yes, yes … I’ve heard good things about you. I hope you’ll be ready to hit the ground running.” Frank paused. There was no trace of irony in her delivery. For the flicker of an instant, he consid- ered replying, “ In fact, I was plan- ning on slowly easing myself into the job, and was hoping you’d approve a week or two of leave as soon as I arrive at post. And I assume it won’t be a problem for me to work half-days for the first few months, until I get settled in?” Instead, Frank flashed a tight smile and said as earnestly as he could: “Yes, I’m really looking forward to jumping in with both feet and hit- ting the ground running, as it were.” The ambassador grinned warm- ly. Hearing her hoary phrase pass his lips seemed to rejuvenate her. Even the seersucker looked crisper. “Good, good. I’m looking forward to working with you.” A few weeks later, when Frank arrived at post, he regretted not heeding the advice of a senior colleague who had warned him: “Never bid on any post with ‘Guinea’ in its name.” There was precious little with which to amuse himself as an upwardly mobile junior officer in the Pol/Econ Section. The substantive issues seemed pedestrian, and it soon became clear that only a devoted cult of two people back in Washington — a beleaguered desk officer and his maniacally micro-man- aging office director — ever read anything he wrote. He began to wonder why “hit the ground crawling” had not become the department’s jargon of choice. And then he remembered the talis- manic power that parroting a cliché seemed to have on the ambassador. Proceeding cautiously at first, Frank began to lard his reporting with soggy diction. A simple “now” became “currently,” or, if he was feel- ing especially bold, “at this point in time.” After he realized that no one seemed to know the original English meaning of the word anyway, Frank also used (er, “utilized,” or “availed himself of”) “presently.” No one seemed to object. Warming to his mission, Frank pressed ahead. In one memo, he substituted “prior to” for “before” in four different sentences. Instead of getting bounced back for editing by the political counselor, the memo fairly flew to the ambassador’s desk. When she graced it with a “Solid Work” — accented with a jaunty smiley face from the DCM on the I A N UPWARDLY MOBILE JUNIOR OFFICER IN A BACKWATER DISCOVERS THE SECRET TO SUCCESS . B Y H ANSCOM S MITH F O C U S 28 F O R E I G N S E R V I C E J O U R N A L / J U LY- A U G U S T 2 0 0 3 F RANK G OES FOR B AROQUE Janet Cleland