The Foreign Service Journal, July/August 2018

48 JULY-AUGUST 2018 | THE FOREIGN SERVICE JOURNAL You Can Never Be Fully Prepared Worley “Lee” Reed Officer-in-Charge of the Engineering Services Center for Central and South Africa I left the embassy approximately 20 minutes before the attack to arrange an equipment shipment at the GSO warehouse. I was just leaving the warehouse when I heard a sonic boom. I radioed Post One, but no one answered. An FSN driver finally responded, “The embassy is bombed. The embassy is gone.” I rushed back to the embassy and foundmy wife, Joyce, who had survived the attack. It was the longest 15minutes of my life. We then began the search-and-rescue efforts. If I had remained inmy office, I would have died in the rubble piled up eight feet off the floor. There are experiences in this world that no human being should suffer. Amajor terrorist attack is one of them. The physical and mental trauma changes your life. You become a different person. I believe the odds of suffering fromPTSD are almost 100 percent. Your physical injuries will limit your ability to enjoy your previous activities. Your mental injuries cause depression, flashbacks, panic attacks and a strange sense of guilt. Your family and colleagues are directly affected, because your new behaviors affect them. PTSD is transmissible. I specialized in counterintelligence and counterterrorism. I also have a master’s degree in psychology. Before the bombing, I thought I understood almost everything about terrorism and terrorist attacks. After the bombing, I discovered I had known little to nothing about them. As much as you may believe you understand terrorism, you will only understand the huge impact on the lives of survivors and their families by experiencing it yourself. I hope this never happens to you. Everyone involved in a terrorist attack, including helpers, is a victim of the attack. You experience helplessness, vulnerability and a strong sense of isolation. If you are overseas, American help can be days away. In our case, the Kenyan government was paralyzed by the attack. If you survive, you become 911. The situ- ation creates tremendous stress. It would be easy to simply give up. You must fight to become a survivor (or warrior) by taking personal responsibility for your life and recovery efforts. While this “warrior” approach may seem strange to someone who has not experienced a terrorist attack, it is essential to personal survival. An anonymous quote states: “Fate whispers to the warrior, ‘You cannot withstand the storm.’ The warrior whispers back to fate, ‘I am the storm’.” As a survivor/warrior, you cease being a person who help- lessly watches experiences happen, and you become the person who shapes your own future. Insist on accountability, not just words in a report from a review board. —Ron Roughead Congresses over the past decade to invest adequate efforts and resources to reduce the vulnerability of U.S. diplomatic mis- sions around the world to terrorist attacks.” The report goes on to say that while policies and procedures were followed regarding threat assessment and security, the threat had changed, rendering those processes inadequate. It “found most troubling the failure of the U.S. government to take the necessary steps to prevent such tragedies through an unwillingness to give sustained priority and funding to security improvements.” The boards then made recommendations so this would not happen again. But, of course, it did. Even after taking blatant partisanship into consideration, the report on the events in Benghazi reveal conclusions that are disturbingly similar. My memories of Aug. 7, 1998, created a desire to make a home inside of me for everyone touched by those bombs—sur- vivors and casualties, Americans, Kenyans and Tanzanians. But the knife’s edge of recollection of the failures will always be there. The only way I can touch those killed that day is to place my hand on their names etched into the memorials. For those of you now in diplomatic outposts or soon to go, I offer the following advice. First , if you feel safe, you are prob- ably vulnerable. Relentlessly let that vulnerability be known. Second , have the courage and persistence to give voice to your observations and assessments. Do so with the purpose of pro- tecting those near you, as well as every innocent who passes by. Commit to this before an event, even to the detriment of your career. Third , never forget the value of life. It is not subject to risk and mitigation. Fourth , insist on accountability, not just words in a report from a review board. I have no doubt that time and age will alter my view of that day and where we fell, but I will make every effort not to forget where we slipped.