The Foreign Service Journal, July-August 2020

54 JULY-AUGUST 2020 | THE FOREIGN SERVICE JOURNAL Foreign Service Kids Show Resilience Kelly Cotton ■ Washington, D.C. As a tandem couple, my political officer hus- band and I, an office management specialist, have each experienced exciting careers for more than 15 years— most of that time with two kids in tow. From posts such as Nairobi, where transnational terrorism was a daily reality, to Dhaka, where freedom of movement consisted of a four-mile radius, ask the Cottons; most likely, we have either experienced it ourselves or know someone who has. Yet many do not stop to think about the ideas and thoughts of the Foreign Service children who are along for this ride. We tend to try to soften the blow or keep the fairy-tale life going, not real- izing how resilient they really are. Take our children, 14-year-old Zinzi and 15-year-old Zora, as examples. They have been out of the United States pretty much their entire lives, and can hold an impressive conversation about the importance of understanding host-country cultures. Around age 9, however, Zinzi began complaining about the constant changes associated with our lifestyle, including losing friends with every permanent change of station. Realizing that the Cotton kids had never had a genuine American experience beyond an R&R, we decided to bid on tours in the United States and have been in Washington, D.C., for the last three years. With all the hardship, disease, danger and other unexpected life events we have ducked and dodged as a family overseas, who would have ever thought we would be facing an invisible death threat called COVID-19 at “home,” in the land of “the beautiful and the free”? Surprisingly, Zinzi and Zora did not react as one might expect. Neither blinked an eye when we told them that schools were clos- ing across the nation for the remainder of the year, including their own. In the same breath of acknowledging they would miss their friends, they asked about next steps. After we truthfully answered their questions about the coronavirus, they both went into Foreign Service mode and developed a plan. Monday through Friday, in the morning, they would have breakfast and get started with school assignments. After school, they would complete chores, and then have relaxation time and activities of their choos- ing. Once online school- ing had been established, they immediately got connected, participated in virtual school meetings and got down to business. They have adjusted better than one would expect from adolescents. For instance, Zora asked if she could attend a friend’s birthday party. When we asked her about social distancing, she explained that the birthday party would be virtual. She even made a birthday banner and baked a small cake to “eat” with the rest of the kids. They all sang songs, ate their respective cakes, played games—and two hours later, she couldn’t stop talking about all the fun she’d had. Realizing that Foreign Service children are used to change just like we are as officers and specialists is the first step in creating a stable environment during uncertainty. From our experience, they are often willing to go with the flow and take on unforeseen chal- lenges with the hope for a brighter future. Under stressful circumstances, we must also challenge our children to act as leaders and team players by encouraging them to bring forth and share their unique talents, which can be as simple as singing for the family to help keep spirits up, or baking a cake for a friend in need of a birthday celebration. As we have seen (in this situation and others), Foreign Service life can build brave and resilient children. Kelly Cotton is an office management specialist in the USOAS Mission at the State Department. Employed at State since 2006, she joined the Foreign Service in 2009 and has served overseas in Islamabad, Nai- robi, Dhaka and Lilongwe, and in Washington, D.C., at the Foreign Service Institute. Prior to the Foreign Service, she served in Ecuador and Nicaragua as a Peace Corps volunteer. The Cotton family. COURTESYOFKELLYCOTTON