The Foreign Service Journal, September 2020

42 SEPTEMBER 2020 | THE FOREIGN SERVICE JOURNAL closed. And as the granddaughter of that man, I was now an American diplomat representing the “imperialist enemy” they had been riled up about for decades. Over bad Korean soju liquor and karaoke singing, the North Korean officials would vent about how they felt about “those Americans.” For years, I hid the fact that I was a Pickering Fellow and did not list it on my résumé to avoid being prejudged about how I entered the Foreign Service. Sometimes there was office chatter about how “those fellows” were exploiting the system, and I would not offer up that I was one of them. It wasn’t until I was promoted to Minister Counselor that I had the confidence to talk about the fellowship more openly and explain how we had to surpass higher requirements than normal Foreign Service applicants. There were times in my career when I really didn’t think I belonged. Just a few years ago, a senior government official addressed me as a “little lady” and asked whether I was “tak- ing good care of my ambassador,” even though I was there in my own right as a senior officer at a Cabinet meeting. I won- dered if he would have addressed a tall white male of my same rank in that way. Throughout my career, I found myself subconsciously counting the number of women and minorities in every meet- ing I attended. I have no idea why I did this—it just came natu- rally. But it also chipped away at my confidence as I questioned how I could belong if there were not many other people who looked like me. Many years ago, on my arrival at post a peer at the same grade insisted I was “junior” to him and took over the juicy and supervisory portions of my portfolio, de facto taking over my position in an office where I was the only person of color. My supervisor shrugged it off, and I was afraid to raise my concerns with anyone higher up. Human Resources told me it would be useless to grieve and that it would ruin my corridor reputation. Again, I didn’t want to rock the boat. I decided to swallow the disappointment and chalk it up to a learning expe- rience of what not to do in the Foreign Service. v Now, as we hear stories about bullying and microaggres- sions, and fears of retaliation that prevent officers from speak- ing up, I admit I wish I had done more to stand up for myself, and I want to do more to help change our culture and create safe spaces to speak up. We all have a role to play in this. I’ve been lucky to meet wonderful mentors, one of whom told me: “You came to play in the game, not sit on the bench.” I took those words to heart in later assignments and was encouraged by my parents, who told me never to view myself as a victim. Two things that have helped me stay resilient: First, my Christian faith, the prism through which I live and work. The values of my work are firmly rooted in the values of my faith and family, and despair is not an option. Second, my love of this institution. Despite all our imperfections and mistakes The Chung family, including Julie (at right), celebrate their first Thanksgiving meal in the United States. COURTESYOFJULIECHUNG I gave the commencement speech at my middle school graduation, speaking of the American dream and conveying my parents’ endless optimism in the opportunities that the United States could give us.