THE FOREIGN SERVICE JOURNAL | SEPTEMBER 2023 47 When I joined Foreign Service life as a spouse (technically, an “eligible family member,” or EFM) back in 2011, I quickly learned that this exciting career could also be absorbing and overwhelming. This reality hit me hard when I moved to our first post and suddenly all aspects of my new life were associated with work. My housing assignment, the transportation of my belongings, my job opportunities, the part of the world where I lived, and even the furniture of my apartment were constant reminders of the job. On the weekends when we gathered with friends for cookouts or parties, the conversation was almost always … about work. Our neighbors were also our colleagues, and our friends were 90 percent people from work. I realized then that more than a career, the Foreign Service was a lifestyle, a thrilling but challenging one. Within a matter of months I was not only fluent in a foreign language but was also capable of understanding Foreign Service lingo. Suddenly, I was an expert on acronyms, I knew the meaning of HHE, UAB, GSO, RSO, TSP, and a long list of terms needed for basic Foreign Service survival. Soon, and without realizing it, I had difficulty defining myself outside the Department of State world. My EFM life had sneaked into my personal life and taken over. Who was I, if not an EFM serving overseas? The Struggle for Work-Life Balance The more I talked with my friends and colleagues about my struggle, the more I realized I was not alone, that many of them were experiencing similar feelings. Some of them had been professional basketball players, teachers, dancers, cartoonists, Music allowed us to forget for a moment about our next assignments, employee evaluation review (EER) deadlines, visa wait times, public affairs crises.
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