The Foreign Service Journal, October 2008

if not desperate, approach to her lan- guage learning. She sat down at her laptop and connected onto Palavar ianFriendFinder.com. “My name is Eleanor. I am young American wo- man. I like moonlit walks and I want to learn Palavarian.” She received 378 responses in the first half-hour. After innumerable first dates, usually to a sandwich shop, Eleanor began routine meetings with one particular conversation partner, a tall Palavarian boy with an impeccable complexion and a talent for rolling his r’s. She wasn’t sure of his real name, but she called him Rodrigo, as his screen name was RDRG69. Soon enough, Eleanor’s sentences grew in complexity. “Rodrigo and me last week went to recent Tom Cruise movie. We had popcorn and hot dogs and ate dinner and wine and my apartment.” She giggled nervously. “Lots of fun!” The ambassador, who had recently hired a Palavarian housekeeper, was also showing marked improvement. “Eleanor, you seem going steady with Rodrigo. I hear Palavarian wedding conch shells in the future?” She and Eleanor laughed and car- ried on like guests on “Oprah.” Sam- my encouraged them with intermit- tent interjections like, “I know what you mean!” or “You go, girl.” I asked Eleanor, “You did talk to DS about this Rodrigo guy, didn’t you?” “Worry don’t. Rodrigo’s father worker at George Washington Uni- versity. Everything is secure,” she replied. “And you can at least try to say something in Palavarian!” It was now four months into lan- guage training and I had yet to speak a single word of Palavarian in class. Eleanor and the ambassador had stopped trying to engage me in their daily dialogues. Sammy, who had never even taken note whether or not I attended, was content to let the class mosey toward completion without a word from my lips. The less the stu- dents talked, the happier Sammy was. Indeed, his greatest joy was creating O C T O B E R 2 0 0 8 / F O R E I G N S E R V I C E J O U R N A L 49 The ambassador, who had in the meantime hired a Palavarian housekeeper, was also showing marked improvement.