The Foreign Service Journal, October 2014

THE FOREIGN SERVICE JOURNAL | OCTOBER 2014 43 dart gun. Loading the gun, he took aim through the bars of the vent, and pulled the trigger as everyone held their breath—click. He’d forgotten to load the CO 2 canister for the airgun. We shu ed anxiously as the monkey continued to spin the blades of the fan from behind the bars, toying with us. Finally, now fully loaded, the vet took aim once again. Pop! is time he struck his target with an accuracy that only two feet of distance will give you. Enraged, the monkey removed the tranquilizer from his arm and began to chew on it. en the GSO sta began to carefully remove the front grate of the air shaft, placing a net before the duct as the vent was removed. How long before the dart takes e ect? someone asked. About 15 minutes. Hmm, maybe we should have waited a little longer, was the collectively unspoken thought just as the monkey ew from the con nes of the crawl space and into the waiting net. But his acro- batics con rmed our spy theories when he managed to untangle himself and escape to scurry along the rooftop. He weaved and dodged and evaded capture for several more minutes, making his way through the grates on the outside of the building. It was at this point that it occurred to everyone that a drugged monkey was not likely to hang on for very long to the side of an embassy. Quickly our courageous assistant RSO rushed to the ground level, where he spotted the increasingly drowsy primate cling- ing to a drainage pipe. e warehouse crew brought over a large piece of Styrofoam and our A/RSO stood four oors underneath where he “thought” a heavily sedated monkey “might” fall. is is undoubtedly beyond the normal security training o ered by DS, but monkey catching might not be a bad thing to add to an expanded curriculum. It didn’t take long, and as the creature’s grip loosened from the pipe alongside the building, he fell to earth. Maybe he wasn’t a ying monkey after all. Seeing our now sleeping “spy” begin to fall, the re exes of our A/RSO took over, and the monkey grace- fully went right into the net (after only a small bounce). e vet and his embassy entourage quickly gathered down- stairs to examine the poor beast. He lay completely still, but the deep rhythm of his breathing and an absence of any visible signs of massive bleeding or broken bones led the vet to declare, “He’s going to make it.” Twenty-four harrowing hours later, the crisis ended. e compound was secure, and management sent out a triumphant email: “ e monkey saga has successfully concluded.” At least for today, that is. n Monkey on the loose at Embassy Colombo. Christopher Teal