The Foreign Service Journal, October 2014

46 OCTOBER 2014 | THE FOREIGN SERVICE JOURNAL Actions to Take to Build Your Case • Take pictures, if possible, of where you are going to live—the house, the neighborhood, the embassy environment. • Provide photos and documentation about the school and the curriculum. (If possible, choose an English-medium school. While it may be true, do not say: “It would be advantageous for my child to go to school in another language.”) • Provide assurances that the school will send duplicate school progress reports/testing scores, etc., to the other parent. • Provide airline schedules and other reassuring travel infor- mation. • Agree to provide information in case of a travel delay of any kind, and be scrupulous in ensuring that the noncustodial parent is in the loop and minimally inconvenienced. • Agree to take the cat, the dog or whatever makes life comfort- able for the child. • Provide pictures and information about the natural environ- ment (e.g., parks, ocean) and give information about sports, music and extracurricular activities that are available to your child at the potential post. • If possible, offer assurances that you will hire a good house- hold helper to be with your child after school. (One of us made it clear, in our own case, that even in a senior position, we would not be routinely out in the evenings at representational events.) • Provide information about medical care and dentistry avail- able while at post, and agree to provide all medical information and to consult on major issues should they occur. (Note: If successful in taking the child to post, you must ensure that you provide the other parent with a notarized document allowing him/her to travel with the child and vice versa. He or she will also have to sign o on passport documents.) Arguments to Make • Rather than destabilizing children, exposure to life overseas can encourage adaptability, engender more ability to cope with changing circumstances, and open them up to a better under- standing of the world—all powerful life tools. • The Foreign Service experience benefits young people enor- mously when they apply to college. • Different food, sports, TV programs, etc., are not necessar- ily a disadvantage. (In our experience, children get used to all of these within a few months and learn to like what is available.) • On leaving friends: children in the United States move frequently and have to make new friends. Overseas, the embassy community can be like a village where you have a ready-made group of friends. Plus, in international schools, you meet chil- dren from diverse backgrounds who can remain close friends even when you move, thanks to the Internet. Useful Information: Allowances for Joint Custody e State Department o ers several allowances for children of Foreign Service families, some of which are pertinent for divorced or separated parents seeking custody. To understand these allowances, begin with the Family Liaison O ce’s publica- tion Divorce and the Foreign Service. Generally, the allowances pertain to education and travel for the child. More detailed infor- mation and post-speci c information can be found on the State Department’s O ce of Allowances Web page (http://aoprals. state.gov). Please note: most of these allowances apply only if the child is on the employee’s orders. And to be on the orders, the divorce decree must show that the employee has primary or joint cus- tody of the child. Education allowances exist primarily to supplement educa- tion that is available in the United States and may not be avail- able at post. is may include allowances for correspondence courses in, for example, U.S. history or government. Allowances for boarding schools may be available if the school at post is not adequate. However, if the child goes to a boarding school in the United States, and the noncustodial parent resides in the United States, the education allowance will not pay for the school. ere may be an exception only if the noncustodial parent is un t for some reason. Special-needs allowances and allowances for home schooling are also available. e education travel allowance will pay for one round-trip per year to post for the child who is in college or a post-second- ary education program up to age 23. For children in grades 9–12, the education allowance may be used for travel to and from post. e travel allowance for separated families will also pay for one round-trip a year for the child to visit the other parent—but not in addition to the educational travel allowance. One free trip For a child to be on an employee’s orders, the divorce decree must show that he or she has primary or joint custody of the child.