The Foreign Service Journal, October 2016

26 OCTOBER 2016 | THE FOREIGN SERVICE JOURNAL rounds of our section of the embassy. When my lungs became so tight that simply breathing became difficult, I headed straight to the medical unit where I was given a nebulizer treatment. Unfortunately, my health continued to deteriorate. I spent several weeks working from my sofa, handling pressing work issues via my Blackberry as best I could. The medical unit operated a branch at the South Jakarta American Club, where I lived, so I walked over there every couple of days for a check- up. The first several times, they sent me right back home to rest. But eventually they dispatched me to get chest X-rays, which showed pneumonia. Besides upping my medications and making me rest, there wasn’t much they could do. As a divorced mother of two teenag- ers, a medical evacuation was not a practical option, but I did spend several days visiting a pulmonologist in Singapore, who dismissively told me that the pollution was aggravating my lungs and recommended that I take asthma medication. But she offered no advice on how to heal my lungs, or whether that was even possible. For the next seven months I relied on oral steroids, inhalers, nebulizer treatments and significant amounts of sick leave to meet the bare minimum work requirements. My lungs felt raw, like they were being crushed. I could barely breathe and talk at the same time, and my cough was horrifying. I was no longer capable of any sustained physical exertion and had to dramatically cut back on what I could do, both as an officer and as a mother. I visited the health unit every few days and listened to a variety of theories of what was wrong with me. Imagine the horror of being told that maybe your latent tubercu- losis was active again, or that you might have cancer or Legion- naire’s disease. Or the frustration of hearing speculation that maybe it was all stress-induced and in your head. The staff finally settled on a diagnosis of “reactive airway disorder.” Given the limited medical options in Jakarta, very little I still have no idea what the true extent of the damage to my lungs is. After her recovery, the author and her son, Ethan, enjoy a 78-mile hike in the Shenandoah National Park this past summer. COURTESYOFDEBORAHLYNN