The Foreign Service Journal, October 2018

THE FOREIGN SERVICE JOURNAL | OCTOBER 2018 43 ers,” remembers Lisa. “The ambassador said a few words; we observed a moment of silence; and the Marines took down the flag, folded it and presented it to Jess’ grandfather. After that, each embassy staff member came one by one to the flagpole to lay flowers in memory of Jess. It was an incredibly moving moment.” That same day a survivor of the accident, Jessica’s colleague and friend R.C. Bitting, spoke with Jessica’s family from his hospital bed in Hanoi. He remembers: “This was the most difficult phone conversation I’ve ever had, but Jess’ mother, father and grandfather were so supportive of my recovery. Others have credited them for bringing me back from a growing dark depression.” At the embassy in Rangoon, the ceremony was over but not the grieving. Lisa continues: “Our medical officer suggested turning Jess’ office into a memorial to allow people a place to mourn and absorb the loss. After the flag ceremony, manage- ment staff filled her office with vases of flowers and set up a small memorial with a photo of Jess and a blank memory book for staff to use to write memories of her. We left the light on and the door open so anyone could come in.” Gathering Memories Jessica’s scattered community of friends was still grieving too. Facebook served as our memory book, and also as a call to action. Jessica’s Washington friends collected toys and gifts for her daughter. Others curated a playlist of Jessica’s favorite songs. Former Peace Corps colleagues gathered photos that poured in from around the world. Amidst it all Jessica’s mother, Suzette Daniel, and her family offered comfort and grace to Jessica’s far- flung friends. Lisa volunteered to bring Jessica’s remains back to Louisi- ana—an honor, but also a nightmare tangle of “Fly America” and other rules. Managing sorrow and bureaucracy at the same time is a superhuman task. Lisa recounts: “On the third day after Jess’ death, I became incredibly angry in my grief; and for lack of a better target, my anger was directed completely at our bureaucracy. I woke up to multiple action messages from