The Foreign Service Journal, December 2004

D E C E M B E R 2 0 0 4 / F O R E I G N S E R V I C E J O U R N A L 91 S CHOOLS S UPPLEMENT be a “big fish in a small pond than a small fish in a big pond.” Ms. Rudinsky recommends that parents think about their child’s high school career, as early as when the child is 8 or 9. Also, parents should be aware that in exposing their children to an overseas life, they are creating world citizens who will find it hard to fit in, find their niche, or partner, etc. Also, it is best for the family as a whole to decide about school and to let the children take an active part in the decision-making so that they feel some “ownership” over their lives. A child who sought counseling had this view: “I would say that maybe if you are quite young, an international life wouldn’t be too bad. However, I couldn’t make long-lasting friend- ships, and it made me feel quite inse- cure. On my old school reports I am always described as shy and quiet, and I always remember one line: ‘she chooses her friends wisely.’ It was also said that I enjoy my own company. I thought: ‘What is the point in making friends when I never know how long I’ll be here?’ I don’t think it is fair to the child once they get older (maybe middle-school age).” For some, taking a year off before university allowed for maturity. One of the Foreign Service dependents deferred her admission to Brown and went to Venezuela with her parents for a year. “What was cool about that was that it was my decision to go there, so, unlike in the past, I didn’t feel like I was being dragged around,” she reported. Returning to the U.S. is a difficult transition for children raised overseas. After hearing many international kids’ stories, it seems that if one doesn’t return to the U.S. as a preteen, then perhaps college is the right time to make that change. At that stage, the culture shock is more bearable, and the teen is a young adult. In high school most teenagers are vulnerable to a double whammy of change. For many, college is close enough to a “foreign country” — something they definitely know how to deal with. Parents can make all the difference in how their child sees their interna- Continued from page 91 Continued on page 93 Returning to the U.S. is a difficult transition for children raised overseas.