The Foreign Service Journal, December 2008

92 F O R E I G N S E R V I C E J O U R N A L / D E C E M B E R 2 0 0 8 S CHOOLS S UPPLEMENT standards or expectations of rules and behavior. Knowing that many parents feel guilty about moving the family invites some young people to exploit that vulnerability to test limits. During this time of “entering,” children and adolescents need the security of the family more than ever. The feeling that “we’re in this togeth- er” probably explains why so many Foreign Service families think of themselves as close-knit. Kids are looking to parents for guidance on how to feel, react and behave to a life that may seem out of control. It’s okay for parents to acknowledge that they have bad days, too, but a positive focus and outlook need to be main- tained. This may be the hardest time to manage family mealtime together; yet it is very important to do so, as children need to process and talk about what has happened to them during the day. Upholding family tra- ditions also helps to bring order out of chaos. For instance, traveling with the same few objects that always rep- resent “home” can help everyone feel more settled. Perhaps one of the most difficult challenges for TCKs is to find out how they can reconnect with their peers again; and the older they get, the more complicated that may be. If they have developed a portable skill, talent or interest, they can more easily join a like-minded group in The feeling that “we’re in this together” probably explains why so many Foreign Service families think of themselves as close-knit.