The Foreign Service Journal, December 2012

THE FOREIGN SERVICE JOURNAL | DECEMBER 2012 81 T ransitioning back to the United States is often the most difficult move for Foreign Service kids. “We tend to think the move back to the United States is the easy move,” says Connie Hansen, a former coordinator of the Overseas Briefing Center at FSI’s Transi- tion Center. “But, in fact, everyone will say that the hardest assignment of all is coming back to Washington, D.C.” It can be a big culture shock because going “home” is expected to be easy, yet it requires preparation just like moving abroad. Eventually, of course, as with any move, kids develop friendships and find activities and interests. But aware- ness that returning to the States is differ- ent from other moves helps to manage expectations. To say my son was excited to come back to the United States in ninth grade would be an understatement. He had already envisioned our house, neigh- borhood and old friends just waiting for him. ”This move will be different,” I kept telling him. After being overseas for eight years, “home” would be different— not bad, but different. A Tip Sheet As a seasoned Foreign Service parent and the Education and Youth Officer in the Family Liaison Office, let me recom- mend some tried and tested things you can do to ease your children’s transition: 1. Prepare for the move by doing research. Check out homes, neighbor- hoods and educational options as a family if you can. Sometimes doing this together will help your kids get excited about their move and allow them to feel that they have “buy in” about what’s coming next. Involve your kids when you have already narrowed down the options, but know that ultimately, it is okay to make an executive decision. 2. Anticipate that before, during and after the move your children may seem hesitant or frustrated at times. Try to avoid taking this personally; it is a part of the adjustment that your kids must go through. Keep the lines of com- munication open. 3. Talk to other Foreign Service par- ents—consider joining the FS Parents Yahoo Group (http://groups.yahoo. com/group/FSparent/). Re member, you are not alone, and you are not the only family undertaking this transition. 4. Help your kids manage their expectations about life in the U.S. Your children may anticipate that their neighborhood friends from first grade will be knocking on their door the day you move in (even though eight years have passed). Help them set realistic Returning “home” can be the toughest assignment of all. BY L EAH WAL LACE Leah Wallace is the Education & Youth Officer in the State Department’s Family Liaison Office. MOVING FORWARD WHENBOUNCING BACK Help your children set realistic expectations about friendships, “home” and school.