The Foreign Service Journal, December 2013

THE FOREIGN SERVICE JOURNAL | DECEMBER 2013 17 FS KNOW-HOW A Practical Guide to International Divorce in the Foreign Service BY E L I ZABETH F I TZS I MMONS AND R I CHARD SE I PERT R egardless of how common divorce is in the Foreign Service, when you go through it you feel like the first person who has ever tried to navigate the bureaucracy of the State Department. Dissolving your marriage while simul- taneously being an effective diplomat or specialist, taking care of your kids, writing employee evaluation reports or bidding, and processing the emotional effects of this massive life change (whether the divorce was your idea or not, it is a huge adjustment) can feel absolutely over- whelming. The experience can also be intensely lonely. We both know, because we’ve been there. We had naively imagined there was some State Department affinity group for divorcing FSOs. Instead, we began to utilize our own Foreign Service networks. “I heard you served with someone who shares custody internationally. Can you send me their e-mail? Didn’t your former boss go through a divorce trial in Vir- ginia? Do you think I can call her?” But we survived to tell the tale, and promised ourselves in the darkest hours Elizabeth Fitzsimmons, currently counselor for public affairs in Sofia, joined the Foreign Service in 1995. (At the time of her swearing-in, she was the youngest member of the Service.) She has served in Taiwan, Hong Kong, Cambodia, India and Washington, D.C. In 2009 the International Women’s Forum named her a fellow, one of only 25 women in the world to be so honored. She is married to Diplomatic Security Special Agent Richard Seipert, and the two have five children. Richard Seipert is currently serving as assistant regional security officer in Sofia. He joined the Bureau of Diplomatic Security in 2003, after a 13-year career in the U.S. Air Force, and has also served in Egypt, India, Iraq, Pakistan, Miami and Washington, D.C. of our divorce sagas that when we got to the end of that long and bumpy road, we would pay it forward by sharing the lessons we learned the hard way. Our hope is that we can save colleagues from the mistakes, delays and hassles that were the unfortunate effects of wander- ing blind down the dark alley of Foreign Service divorce. Still, right off the bat we want to offer the caveat that this article is no substitute for legal advice or consultation with a financial planner. We’re not attorneys, and our advice may be wrong, so please don’t sue us! That said, we do believe our 10-step iStock.com/RobertHoetink