The Foreign Service Journal, December 2018

118 DECEMBER 2017 | THE FOREIGN SERVICE JOURNAL Once in Kuwait, Silliman has to figure out how best to fulfill her role as spouse of—and equal partner to—the ambassa- dor in a culture where few other spouses participate in receptions or public events, many activities are separated by gender andmen frequently don’t even shake hands with women. Silliman slowly finds her feet as she begins tomeet prominent Kuwaiti women—andmen—and starts to unravel the mysteries of Kuwaiti culture. Silliman explains the ways in which Kuwaiti women themselves support and encourage the culture of gender separa- tion, outlining the various perspectives, both positive and negative, that Kuwaiti females have on gender segregation laws. Far from feeling restricted by their sta- tus as women in a country where females frequently cover their heads and bodies under abayas, many Kuwaiti women sup- port the existing social structures. Kuwaiti women are progressive in comparison with women fromneighboring countries: they can drive, vote and attend university. Yet they are still limited in their choices, in everything from career andmarriage to fashion, by the idea of honor that is so important to bothmen and women in Kuwaiti families. During her time in Kuwait, Silliman attends weddings, funerals, iftar dinners and academic conferences. She covers divorce, religion and evenWestern adver- tising in this broad-ranging memoir that will interest anyone who has ever consid- ered doing a tour in the Middle East. n Donna Scaramastra Gorman is the Journal ’s associate editor. A writer whose work has appeared in Time Magazine , Newsweek , The Washington Post and The Christian Science Monitor , she is the spouse of a Diplomatic Security agent. She has lived in Amman, Mos- cow, Yerevan, Almaty and Beijing, and now resides with her family inWashington, D.C. Silliman slowly finds her feet as she begins to meet prominent Kuwaiti women—and men—and starts to unravel the mysteries of Kuwaiti culture.