The Foreign Service Journal, January 2005

zones, he knew. Fifteen border death cases came read- ily to my mind and it would not take much effort to think of more. My Mexican counterpart in Texas had many times more because of the deaths in the desert of Mexican migrants. Many of you, especially those in Iraq and Afghanistan, will come home with memories of life- and-death situations. Perhaps the following memories, some painful to me, will help you. Sometimes you lose. I first learned that in an exer- cise with the Marines at Camp Lejeune. As “Ambassador Armbruster,” I was faced with telling the Marine snipers when to fire. The “embassy” was sur- rounded by protesters. Some young people with back- packs came to the gate claiming to be Americans. With no ID, they were not immediately let in and were soon forced on their knees by the crowd. Snipers held their fire as no guns were visible in the crowd. Then, from behind someone shot the young men. The next day two youngsters again came to the embassy. This time they were let in and ran toward the building before detonating the explosives in their back- packs. They were terrorists. When you live where death comes easily, sometimes you lose no matter what you do. Today’s right answer is tomorrow’s wrong answer. Don’t be too hard on yourself when the odds are 50/50 and you choose badly. What’s the worst case? That’s a good question to ask yourself. In one real-life situation the authorities told us an American had been at the bus stop for hours. That sounded strange, so I urged the officer to talk to her and get her across the border any way he could. He came back saying she had had a falling-out with her family in Texas, and wanted to stay in Mexico. She fig- ured the bus stop was the best place to meet someone and make arrangements. OK. What’s the worst case? She finally gets bored and calls us and we take her back across the border. Or, she has an asthma attack and dies. You can guess which of those possibilities tran- spired. Afterward, I realized I had not let my imagina- tion take the case to the furthest extreme. I should have. Always imagine the worst case and work from there. Let it go. The case of the 19-year-old girl who was kidnapped, tortured and murdered hit everyone who worked on it hard. She was obviously bright and came from a good family — and happened to have her life intersect briefly with that of a drug dealer. He was being kidnapped by a rival gang. She was kidnapped because she was there. I worked with the mother for many months afterward, but then, as all do, the tour ended and I moved far away. There is a temptation to call anyway. See how she’s doing. Try to be helpful. But you can’t be help- ful from an ocean away. New, good officers take your place and continue to press the case with the authori- ties. Let it go. You can keep the image of the girl in mind every time you work on drug issues anywhere in the world. Thus you honor the memory of an innocent person killed, just by doing your job the best you can in your next post. Families and the media. The Bureau of Consular Affairs has classes and experts who provide invaluable insights and guidance to new consular officers on work- F O C U S J A N U A R Y 2 0 0 5 / F O R E I G N S E R V I C E J O U R N A L 27 Tom Armbruster entered the Foreign Service in 1988. Now Deputy Chief of Mission in Dushanbe, he has served in Helsinki, Havana, Moscow, Nuevo Laredo, the Naval War College, and Washington, D.C. He has had two previous articles published in the Journal : one on kayaking from Finland to Estonia, and the other on the challenges of scientific research in Greenland. He has also written for Chesapeake Bay and Above and Beyond , a Canadian in-flight publication. Be attentive to details, but protect your mind.