The Foreign Service Journal, April 2021

THE FOREIGN SERVICE JOURNAL | APRIL 2021 47 mission, he says, and “this sometimes clouds our self-assess- ment of our own state of mind.” He encourages his colleagues to reach out to AFSA to discuss their challenges and seek support. Make sure, too, that as a leader you are supporting your employees. Says one FSO: “State has, on paper, been great. The 10 hours of weekly COVID-19 leave, the incredible speed with which they set up telework capabilities, the messages of support. But at least for me personally, that hasn’t all been implemented. I’ve been strongly discouraged from using the COVID leave because ‘everyone will want to use it.’ I had to go back to the office long before the guidance indicated it was mandatory. Post ran out of laptops before I got one.” Lean Too Far In, and You’ll Fall on Your Face What do these parents want their colleagues and bosses to know? “I cannot be in charge of fostering morale or team building at work right now,” laments a senior-level FSO. “As lead parent with multiple kids learning full-time at home, plus elder care responsibilities, I just cannot take on more. I can’t be a rock star social sponsor. I can’t organize or confirm participation in optional virtual events. It’s a pity, because these contributions are integral to my leadership style and success, they reflect my core values, and leading these efforts is highly satisfying to me in normal times.” Dr. Catherine Saxbe, a regional psychiatrist (RMO/P) based in Moscow, reminds parents that they can't “do it all.” “You can only toggle between the priorities of the moment,” she says. “Don’t stress about screen time or dust bunnies. But do pay attention so that family members don’t go and occupy separate silos all the time. Some alone time is fine and healthy, but sustained isolation is not, especially for children and teens. Be less critical of one another, and show kids that you enjoy their company and listen to their ideas and interests. The big question on all of these parents’ minds: What’s next?