The Foreign Service Journal, June 2016

THE FOREIGN SERVICE JOURNAL | JUNE 2016 47 a Punished for Being Proactive I t isn’t easy uprooting our families every couple of years with- out knowing where we’ll end up next or what life will be like in the varied countries around the world. At times, I find mind-boggling what it takes to lobby for jobs around the world, get settled into a new home, develop relation- ships with new bosses and colleagues and then start the process over again. Our children have the same struggles, but their little minds aren’t yet ready to cope with all of the stresses they often go through. Our first assignment was to a 35-percent hardship post, a difficult place to live. We couldn’t drink the water. The school for our kids wasn’t particularly good; it was like a one-room schoolhouse and offered no sports. There were Muslim extrem- ist groups in the country, so security threats were always on our minds. Our house was surrounded by a huge concrete wall, and the feeling of being shut off from the world around us wasn’t easy on any of us. That said, we stayed positive, made the best of some tough situations and turned it into a lovely first-tour experience for the family. While at post, we set up several appointments with the regional psychiatrist (RMO/P) to meet with our kids. We received wonderful pointers, and it made a difference. After leaving post, we considered finding a therapist to meet with our kids to help them with the transition. They were doing okay, but they were nervous about how our lives would change again. We asked the Bureau of Medical Services (MED) for recommendations on local providers in the Northern Virginia area, and chose one to see our youngest son, who was having the hardest time with the move. He was able to talk about his struggles and fears, and he showed much improvement. He learned how to better express his concerns to us, and we learned what to look for and do to help both of our kids assimilate into another new environment. After we settled into our second posting, we found out that our youngest child’s medical clearance had been changed to Class 2. This happened directly after we asked for the continuing support in Northern Virginia and with no correspondence with us. Since then, we have met with the RMO/P at every opportu- nity to demonstrate that our youngest child, now 15 years old, is doing very well. He has many friends, gets great grades, plays sports, gets along well with his classmates and teachers, and is a normal teenager. Yet we haven’t been able to get his clear- ance changed. We spent our entire second tour documenting his progress for the file, continuing to do so during a year of language training and the 18 months of our current (third) tour. Still no change. We are being punished for trying to do the right thing for our kids. The only conclusion we’re left with at this point is that we never should have involved MED to begin with. We could have found a therapist on our own and done just as well, and we wouldn’t be having these clearance issues now. Because we were trying to be proactive with our kids, and because we thought MED had our best interest in hand, we reached out to them for support. We won’t do that again. a Delayed Symptoms C urrently, there are provisions for funding therapeutic boarding school, including medical evacuation from post, in lieu of normal tuition at post, when medically indicated and approved by MED. In many cases the behavioral issues, eating disorders, anxiety or depression that result in such actions stem from triggers related to the Foreign Service—the disruption of life, school, work and social networks caused by repeated moves. Each year numerous middle and high school students become symptomatic at post, are medically evacuated for psychiatric evaluation and are then funded for attendance at therapeutic boarding schools. The problem is that in many cases the symptoms are sup- Because we were trying to be proactive with our kids, and because we thought MED had our best interest in hand, we reached out to them for support. We won’t do that again.